Behind the Scenes of Sonic X
by I Haz A Tank
Summary: What do the characters feel about working on such a screwed up show? Read on and find out!
1. That's A Wrap

AMY

Promise you'll never leave me, Sonic the Hedgehog! (hysterical crying and stuff)

SONIC

Amy…I love--

DIRECTOR

**CUT CUT CUT!!!**

SONIC

What the hell did I do wrong there?! All I did was stick to the original script!

DIRECTOR

That's the problem! The original script was all violent and $#!*. So we Americanized it to make it safe for 6-year-olds watching this crap on FOX.

SONIC

The Parents TV Council nagged you, didn't they?

DIRECTOR

Yes sir.

SONIC

(sigh) Look, Norman, I think I speak for the entire cast of the series when I say—

TAILS

WHERE'S THE PRODUCER?!?! I ordered vanilla iced sprinkled donuts, not glazed donuts!!! I can't work on this show until all my picky demands are met!!!

DIRECTOR

But you haven't BEEN working. You've been on strike since the beginning. We had to get a f%#&ing girl to replace you.

TAILS

I cannot work under these conditions! I mean, I've been portrayed as a 6-year-old brat on 2 of the earlier shows, I can't take a chance with 4Kids!

DIRECTOR

OK, here's my final offer. We'll give you your own spin-off. Take it or leave it.

TAILS

Aw, screw you.

(Tails runs out to lead striking mob consisting of Rouge, Knuckles, Shadow, and Big the Cat.)

TAILS

**WHAT DO WE WANT?!**

MOB

**SCREEN TIME!**

TAILS

**WHEN DO WE WANT IT?!**

MOB

**EPISODE 53, IF FOX PICKS US UP FOR A THIRD SEASON!!!**

TAILS

...Abridged version please…

MOB

…**NOW!!!**

(Knuckles' phone is ringing.)

KNUCKLES

Hold on, I've got a call. (on the phone) Yello? … Mr. Murdoch! How's it hanging? … What? … But why? … How could they do this to us?! (hang up tone)

(Knuckles runs off to tell the cast and crew.)

KNUCKLES

Bad , they pre-empted us in favor of some stupid infomercial for some retarded vacuum cleaner.

SONIC

What?! Why the hell would they do that?!

KNUCKLES

Rupert says that the 4KidsTV block has been less profitable than other divisions. Rumor has it they're moving us to that new CW network.

DIRECTOR

(GASP!) You mean we're going to be alongside such awesome shows as Smallville, Supernatural, and…what was it called…uh, that show with the teenagers…

SONIC

Those are all just retarded teen dramas. I don't know why, but…being in the last slot after Ninja Turtles and being followed by FOX Saturday baseball…I don't know, but it seemed like the right place.

KNUCKLES

Not for me. I just wish they'd bring back the old FOX Kids block. Ahh, good times…awesome shows like Animaniacs, Tiny Toons, and the Tick…

DIRECTOR

All right, enough reminiscing. That's a wrap, everyone. See you next season. Oh, BTW, Mr. Grossfeld wants to see you in his office, Sonic.

SONIC

Nothing good could come of this…

**Stay tuned for more chapters coming up!**


	2. Season 3

NARRATOR

Last time on Behind the Scenes of Sonic X, Knuckles got word from Mr. Murdoch that their show might be moved to another network. With the cast in complete disarray, and uncertainty in the air over a 3rd season of the show, how will the show survive? Find out next on Behind the—

SONIC

**AW, SHADDUP!!!**

(Scene: Norman Grossfeld's Office, 4Kids Studios. Sonic has just entered the room.)

SONIC

You wanted to see me, Mr. Grossfeld?

NORMAN

Sit down. The new ratings book just came in. According to this, our show just dipped to its lowest low since that retarded Knuckles and Hawk episode!

So if they pick us up for a third season, we need something fresh and exciting to draw some suckers in! Here's what I came up with.

(Norman hands Sonic a script. Sonic looks over it.)

SONIC

What the heck? "Metarex robots?" "Dark Sonic?" Fox-Plant relationship?!?! **WTF IS THIS JUNK?!?!?!?!**

NORMAN

It's quality entertainment, that's what it is.

SONIC

Sir, you have f%&*ed with my show for the last time! It's over! I'm out! I quit! Let's see you try to continue the show without me, eh?

NORMAN

Better! We'll make a spin-off starring Chris Thorndyke!

SONIC

(frantically) OK, I'm in! What's my motivation?!

NORMAN

We don't start filming till August.

(Sonic returns to a cast party in the green room.)

TAILS

Something good happen?

SONIC

You know, I finally figured out what's wrong with life.

TAILS

What would that be? Pirates? Midgets? Democrats?

SONIC

It's **other people.**

_**I really hated Season 3 of the show. It was almost as bad at that retarded Saturday morning Sonic cartoon on ABC. **_


	3. Shooting Begins

_It was August. The filming for Season 3 had begun. There was a feeling of excitement in the air. _

DIRECTOR

Okay, bring in the stunt double!

_The stunt double bursts in through the door. His fur is yellow/gold and his hair points upward, he's designed to look like Super Sonic._

STUNT DOUBLE

Seriously, this is the best that Mr. Rosenhaus could get me?! I need a new agent…

DIRECTOR

All right, just get on the wire.

_A wire is tied around the stunt double's chest and then lifted in the air._

DIRECTOR

Places everyone! Stunt double! Guy in robot suit!

DARK OAK GUY

It's hot in here…

DIRECTOR  
Quiet…And action!

STUNT DOUBLE

(enthusiastically) He's tougher than I thought! I'd better finish this!

DIRECTOR

No, no…do it duller…more Griffith-y.

SONIC

(in background) Let the guy act!

DIRECTOR

No, Sonic. There'll be no sense of consistency unless he puts forth his dullest voice! Try it again.

STUNT DOUBLE

(Microsoft Sam-like) he's tougher than I thought. I'd better finish this…

DIRECTOR  
Nooo, duller!

STUNT DOUBLE

WHAT?! How can I possibly be du—

_Suddenly, the wire snapped._

STUNT DOUBLE

Aw, nut bunnies!

_The stunt double lands on Tails while he was eating a donut._

TAILS

All right, that's it. I'm calling my lawyer, I'm outta here.

DIRECTOR

But Tails—

TAILS

Nope!

DIRECTOR

Seriously, Tails—

TAILS

Uh-uh!

_Tails retreats to the payphone out back._

_Next scene. Tails, Amy, and Cream are looking at the sky._

CREAM

If I didn't know any better, I'd say that shooting star is headed right for us!

_A little pod is dropped from the catwalk with Cosmo in it. It lands face down on the ground._

TAILS

Omigosh! There's someone in here!

AMY

Uh, guys…? I think she's dead.

DIRECTOR

Maybe so, but that's no excuse. Get up and act, you lazy corpse!

Everyone stares blankly.

_It's the end of shooting. The cast is in the green room having donuts._

SONIC

That was horrible!

TAILS

I'm afraid of what's to come…

**TO BE CONTINUED…**

Dun dun dun…


	4. Terrible Terrible Terrible

_It's the middle of season 3 of Sonic X, and there has been disaster after disaster. Bad voice acting, bad characterization, and crowds of TailsXCosmo shippers kept spying on the filming and uploading the data to the Internet. Tails usually threatens them with his "new lithium plasmatronic gun", but they WON'T GO AWAY._

_The pre-emptions also piled up._

KNUCKLES

We just got pre-empted in Philly for a World Series victory parade.

(Later…)

KNUCKLES

State of the Union address.

(Later still…)

KNUCKLES

Uwe Boll movie marathon. (8 hours of torture that was.)

_The equipment kept failing in shot after shot after shot._

DIRECTOR

Chaotix in Space, scene 3, take 692. And…ACTION!

TAILS, KNUCKLES, CHRIS

Sonic-powered cannon, **FIRE!**

_Sonic got fired out of the cannon, but instead of hitting the guy in the Dark Oak suit, he hit a catwalk high above the studio that was inconveniently placed above Cosmo. Part of the catwalk falls off and crushes her._

TAILS

Oh my god, they killed Cosmo!

SONIC

**YOU BASTARDS!**

(Writer's note: Sorry, Cosmo fans and TailsXCosmo shippers, I just love to watch her suffer.)

_And the ratings were dropping faster than a Ford Pinto off the Grand Canyon._

(Director walks in with the weekly ratings.)

SONIC  
Are those are ratings? Lemme see. (Flips through ratings book.) Oh for the love of f**k on a cracker. We lost to Telefutura channel 46!

TAILS

What the hell is that?

SONIC

Dunno…

_4Kids security let me in to document the shooting of episode 77, _Fearless Friend_._

…_Okay, they didn't LET me in, I had to sneak in._

…_All right, I didn't sneak in or anything! I walked in while security was watching FOX NFL Sunday, okay?!_

DIRECTOR

Fearless Friend, Final Scene, Take 37, action!

COSMO

Just shoot me with your hedgehog-powered cannon, and somehow Dark Oak will be destroyed, and my seeds will spread throughout the galaxy with no hope of ever being plant—Tails, why are you laughing?

TAILS

I'm just glad I don't have to do any of his stupid shit again! This is the last episode!

DIRECTOR

No it's not; we've got one more to go next week?

TAILS

WHAT?! But—all the loose ends are tied, and…the story comes to a close…why… (Is moved to tears)

COSMO

What's wrong? Just press the big red fucking button and end it all!

TAILS

I...I can't… (Because I want to walk off the job right now)

Dr. EGGMAN

What's the matter? Do you want her sacrifice to be pointless? And do you want the fans to bitch and complain about the ending?

TAILS

F…F—FIRE!!!

_The cannon fires Sonic and Shadow, and FOR ONCE it actually hits its target and it explodes in a mess of seeds and light._

DIRECTOR  
Cut! Excellent job, guys! Excellent! See ya next week!

SONIC

I can't wait!

DIRECTOR

Uh…but what are we gonna do about cry-boy here? (Points to Tails, who is still in the Torando, weeping)

SONIC

Just give him another vanilla iced donut with sprinkles…


End file.
